Honor Thy Thug Read online

  “Baby, what the hell happened to you in there?” Angel asked me. I could tell that she was trying her best to remain calm. But I blew it, and we both knew it. “What was it that Diedre wanted?”

  “It was Trae. He’s on his way up here.” I stuck my head into Diedre’s office. “See if Trae needs a car from the airport. Tell him I want him to meet me here at the studio.”

  “No problem, Mr. Santos.”

  Angel grabbed my hand. “What happened? Do I need to sit down? Is Tasha all right? What about Kyron?”

  “He said he needed to discuss business with me. That’s all I know.”

  “That’s it?” Angel stopped dead in her tracks. “And that is what caused us to possibly lose the hottest underground artist out there? Babe, you gotta come better than that!”

  “Red, it is what it is. But it’s not only what he said, it was the urgency in how he said it. Something is up. He said something bigger than Don Carlos.”

  Don Carlos was just that: a Don. And had been that for almost twenty years. He had his hands in powder, heroin, and real estate. From what I knew, he had senators, congressman and judges in his pocket. He was big. So in my mind no one I knew was bigger. Needless to say, I was anxious to hear what Trae had to say.

  “Oh, no, no, no, Kaylin. Don’t you even think about it! Baby, you’re out. Don’t even think about it. I’m warning you, Kaylin. Let Trae lead you into some bullshit if you want to.” She pushed me out of the way and stormed into her office.

  RICK

  Back home in Tucson, tension in the house was real thick. I got caught fucking Kyra and then had the audacity to spend the night after the fact. Wrong move. It was obvious that Nina was done with me. But I wasn’t done with her. I had mad love for her and plus she was carrying my seed. Since Nina told me to pack my shit and leave, she’d been giving me the cold shoulder and, on top of that, the total silent treatment. I had to admit I felt like a total creep, and getting busted fucking someone by someone I care about is a first for me. While walking the kids to school, I felt like Wesley Snipes in the movie Jungle Fever. The kids were tugging at me and talking to me, while I was zoned out. Other parents and the crossing guards were speaking to me, and I could only stare. I dropped the kids off and decided to go home, change, and head over to Dave’s Gym to shoot some hoops.

  Kyra had been calling me, but I wouldn’t answer, because if I did, I wasn’t sure what I would say. All I knew was I wanted them both. So I was caught with my dick in my hand and didn’t know where to put it. The thought had even occurred about going back to Georgia. But when I spoke to Trae, he told me that running wasn’t gonna do shit but change the atmosphere. The problem was still going to be there. He asked me to do him a favor and call Kyra, because she was hurt, confused, and driving him nuts. Just as I turned the corner from the school, a limo pulled up, and to my surprise, out she jumped.

  TRAE

  I walked into Kaylin’s office building around lunchtime. The guard at the front desk was acting as if he didn’t want to let me up. So I got Kaylin on the phone, and he told me to stay put, he’d be right down. He said he needed to take a break and wanted to go to the deli next door.

  After about five minutes, he got off the elevator, came over to me, and gave me some dap. “You made it, huh? If you know like I know, you’ll take ya Hollywood ass back out to Cali.” He said the same thing to me every time he saw me.

  “Whatever, nigga. Hurry up and order your shit. We got business. I’ll wait here. I need to call Tasha.”

  “You don’t want anything?”

  “Get me the same thing you gettin’ for yourself.”

  “Aiight bet.” He turned and left the building.

  I found a corner so I could call and speak to my wife. “Where are you?” That was the first thing she asked me.

  “You know where I am.”

  “Kyra has been gone now for almost eighteen hours.”

  “Gone? What do you mean, gone?”

  “Gone. No phone calls. No text messages. Not here. I even went to the Vons where I found her preaching with her Bible. Aunt Marva thought I was lying about that until she caught her going up and down the block knocking on doors. I can’t do this, Trae. We might have to have her evaluated. She’s fuckin’ bananas right now.”

  “Have her evaluated for what?”

  “I think she’s fuckin’ . . . nuts. I can’t raise our children, babysit a crazy patient, and run this house at the same time.”

  I had to chuckle. “A crazy patient?”

  “I’m serious, Trae. I’m worried about her.”

  “Well, don’t go back combing the streets for her. She’s grown, and when she’s ready to come to the house or check in, she will.” When Tasha didn’t respond, I said, “She will, Tasha.”

  “Hurry back home, please. And you’re coming back when?”

  “As soon as I take care of this.”

  “How soon is that? A few hours? A day?”

  “Tasha, I’ll call you when I finish. Here comes Kaylin now.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Love you, too.” I hung up and turned my attention to Kay. “So what you get me? A hot dog off the cart?”

  “Hell, no! Them muthafuckas don’t have toilets or sinks to wash their hands. I got you what’s called ‘get a nigga whatever you got, because as soon as they see yo shit, they want it.’ Here.” He handed me my bags, and I peeked inside the container, saw some lamb over yellow rice, and smiled. “I got this, nigga,” he said, walking onto the elevator with me right on his heels. We rode in silence until we reached his floor. When the doors opened, he moved fast, and I was right behind him.

  “C’mon. Let’s go into the conference room.” As soon as he shut the door, he asked me, “So what’s up?”

  I sat my food on the table and immediately started pacing back and forth, anxious to get it all out. “I get this call from Charli, saying that her father wants to meet with me. I hang up on her, thinking she on some bullshit, and toss her and her conversation out of my mind. But then a couple of days go by, and I’m out gettin’ my walk on and trying to clear my head, when this limo pulls up. I’m thinking all kinds of shit. Mainly, the fact that I wasn’t strapped. Bottom line, it was the man himself, Charlie Li. The rear window came down, just like in the movies. He asks if he can speak to me. I get in, and that’s when he gives me an offer. To make a long story short, he said if I came on board, I can make twenty mil in three years.”

  Kay looked at me as if to say, Nigga, have you lost your mind? He opened his food container and fixed himself a plate. He then said, “That’s all fine and dandy, if you live to spend it. How do you expect, just like that”—he snapped his fingers—“to go from one organization to its rival organization?”

  “They aren’t rivals, Kay. They both have different hustles, different territories.”

  “You told the Dons you wanted out. Now you’re going to sign on with somebody different? Trae, I don’t think you are thinking clearly.”

  “Just like before and always, to answer your question, I’ll go to the Dons out of respect. Nobody owns me, Kay. Fuck all that! We’re talkin’ twenty mil in three years? Seven a year. Come on, son, that’s a no-brainer.”

  “You gonna let him lock you in for three years? Nigga, you dumber than I thought.” He looked at me, laughed, and then ate a little of his food.

  “Whatever, nigga.” I sat down in front of him to look him in the eye. “He’s making my charges go away. And you know I ain’t tryna go visit nobody’s prison. Especially since California is a death-penalty state.”

  “Trae, he knew the perfect carrot to dangle in front of you. Can’t you see that?”

  “So are you in or what? You making the move with me? My mind is already made up.”

  Kay took a deep breath. “Let me be clear. He dangled that carrot because he needs you. Up that 20 mil a little. Make it worth your while. And if you make that move, ain’t no turning back. You know you’re claiming MOL.”

&nb
sp; “MOL? What the fuck is that?”

  “Money Over Life, nigga.”

  I pushed my food away from me, stood up, and went over to the window to peer out over the Manhattan streets. Kaylin was right, and I knew it. If I made this move, there would be no turning back. If I took the offer I would be back in the game. I knew that was a huge risk. Death or prison. Either way I was rolling the dice. Then there was the matter of Don Carlos. What would he say? More important, what would he do? I knew that if I ever decided to get back in, it was supposed to be with the same team. Especially since I bitched so hard to get out. And then there’s Tasha. But all I could see was twenty mil in three years. All I needed was those three.

  Kay wasn’t finished trying to make sure that I knew what I was going up against. “I’m telling you, Don Carlos ain’t gonna want to hear this shit. And the wives? Whenever they find out, they gonna shit bricks.”

  I grinned, not at the truth of his statement but at the shitting of bricks part. And he’d said “wives.” Meaning his, too. He was in. But ironically, I thought about what his punk-ass brother had said. “Yeah, your brother said we got soft.”

  “Man, fuck Kyron! He crazier than a muthafucka. We spent damn near twelve years in the game, walked away without a long sentence, still breathing, and legit. Sheeit. That ain’t soft. That’s genius! Now you at my door talking about going back in?” He looked at me. “That’s not genius, that’s fuckin’ crazy.”

  “Kay, I’m telling you, this here game is on a whole ’notha level, though. You’re telling me twenty mil in three don’t excite you? Then cool. I can respect that. Maybe I will get him to up to thirty. You know I want my right arm to ride with me, but if you feel you gotta do your shit legit, I understand. But I gotta do me.” I started for the door but stopped. “Do me one favor. I’ma need you to take it to Don Carlos. Coming from you, he’ll more than likely go for it.”

  I also started to tell him out of respect that it was time for me to handle Kyron. But I thought better of it. I needed him to keep his mind on talking to Don Carlos for me. I’d deal with Kyron later.

  12

  JAZ

  Oni had them dig up Lil’ Faheem and bring his body back to the funeral home. I had never heard of such a thing, but Faheem wasn’t having it any other way. We suspected that she had an insurance policy on his son, and that’s why she was so in a hurry to lay him to rest.

  On one hand, I was happy that Faheem was finally able to lay Lil’ Fah to rest. On the other, it tore me up to see him bury his son. There was only me, him and the funeral director at the funeral. He cried like a baby. I didn’t know what to do or say to console him, I was so so caught off guard. After all of these years, I had never seen that side of my husband before. I moved to the row behind him and left him alone. He kept mumbling why did this have to happen and if he could only have one more chance. He said he took full responsibility. He said some prayers in Arabic over and over. Finally, I heard him mumble, “Forgive me Allah for the lives I am about to take.” He was ready to go after that statement.

  Afterward I couldn’t get him to eat, and sleeping had become his escape. When he wasn’t sleeping, he just sat in his chair and stared out the window.

  I hated her even more now, and the fact that Faheem was not being gung ho about splitting the bitch’s wig only added more fuel to the fire. I knew he had a cast on his leg, but there was nothing wrong with his mouth or his will. So what I did was tell him I needed to take a trip to Cali to check on Kyra. Tasha had called and was talking some mess about admitting Kyra into a mental institution. To me, it sounded like she was the one who needed to be admitted. But on my way to Cali, I’d stop in Jersey, to check on my granny and recruit somebody to make the moves I needed to make down here in Georgia.

  I checked on my granny, who was doing surprisingly well. She was glad to see me, because she wanted me to promise her that I wouldn’t put her in a nursing home. She was adamant about staying in the house she’d lived in for more than thirty years. I tried not to promise that I wouldn’t admit her, but she wouldn’t let me leave without doing so. After I hung out with her for a while, Snell finally hit me back and said that I could come by and see him.

  As I drove through the streets of Trenton, my spirit felt heavy because I saw how the quality of the city had gone down. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was the same as every other hood in America. It was just that my hood had gotten older, and the city that raised me was now rundown and raggedy. And it was around 2000 or 2001 that it became full of Crips and Bloods, something I would never have imagined. But I had family who were active members of both.

  Faheem’s cousin Snell still lived on Hoffman Ave. but in a different house. He had been living on this street since I was in the fourth grade. I remembered when the park, the basketball court, and the recreation center down the street were full of life. But now either the drug dealers had taken over or everything was abandoned. No more green grass. All I saw was broken bottles, beer cans, cigarette butts and empty crack vials. Where did the children play?

  “Jaz, I know Faheem don’t know nothing about you being here,” he said as soon as I walked up onto the front porch. I zipped my jacket. It was brisk outside.

  “He knows I’m in Trenton but not here, and you’re not going to tell him.”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “Because I have a nice proposition for you.”

  “Jaz, you better let Faheem handle his biz. You ain’t mixing me up in your bullshit. I know what you want. But if he wouldn’t allow me and G to do anything, he damn sure don’t want you even thinking about it.”

  “Snell, Faheem has not gotten over losing his seed yet. He is immobile, and muthafuckas killed his only son, and you’re talkin’ about don’t do anything? It will be our little secret, and if anything goes down, I’ll take the weight. He will never know you was involved. Did I mention the pay is nice?” I looked him in his eyes. “If you’re not down to help a family member out, then my money don’t discriminate. I can easily get the next man. I need to use your bathroom.” I said as I walked past him into the house.

  I wanted him to marinate on my offer before he told me no. He was loyal to Faheem, but at the same time, he was loyal to that almighty green, and plus, I was family. Faheem told me years ago, if anything ever happened to him and I needed some muscle, to go see Snell first. As soon as I came out of the bathroom, I told him just that. So technically, I wasn’t doing anything against Faheem’s wishes.

  “Jaz, I know you gonna go out there and do it anyway. And Fah would kill me if you went to someone else and shit went south. So it’s obvious that I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. But I still would feel at ease if I told him first.”

  “You can’t do that. I’m telling you, Fah is not in his right state of mind right now. Think about it. His son died right there in his arms. It’s like he’s shell-shocked. We gotta do this for him and do it now. Are you in, or are you out?” I was done trying to convince him that I had a crisis on my hands. I had said all that I was going to say. Whether he was in or out, either way I was still going to do me. I know it was crazy for me to ask Snell to help me kill muthafuckas. Shit, if he was a real killer he should be about killing anybody if the price was right. Steele needed to be got. He didn’t have to kidnap a child just because he had a beef with the mother. And as far as she was concerned the bitch exposed her son to the madness, so it would be justice done.

  KYRA

  I woke up the other morning and had made up my mind that I was going to see Rick. He would have to face me since he didn’t take any of the hundreds of calls I made to him. I snuck away and got the first thing smoking out to Tucson, Arizona, to see him. I got the address from snooping around in Trae’s man cave in the basement. When I jumped out of the tinted vehicle, Rick looked as if he wanted to jump out of his skin. I couldn’t blame him; there I was right down the street from his house. He was the one who told me that he walked the kids to school every day, and then he wo
uld head back home to change and go shoot some hoops. I had perfect timing.

  “Kyra? What are you doing out here? How did you know where—”

  “Shut up! Stop right there. You couldn’t answer my calls nigga! What—” I had to stop myself. Seeing him had me on a whole nother level.

  “Return them and say what, Kyra? That I want to be with the both of you?” He grabbed my arm and began walking me in the opposite direction of his house.

  “Is that what you would have said?”

  “At this moment, yes. I have feelings for Nina, and she’s carrying my baby.”

  “So what about me?”

  “I never stopped loving you Kyra. Even Nina knows that.”

  I had to stop him right there. “That’s all bullshit, Rick. You have feelings for her, but you love me? That’s some bullshit! I’ll tell you what. You need to go to her and tell her what you just told me. And you know what she’s going to say? Pack your shit, Rick! That’s what she’s going to say. So go do that now, and I’ll wait for you. Let’s settle this shit once and for all.”

  “Kyra, you ain’t gonna do shit but get in that car and take your ass back to Tasha’s. Let me handle the situation the way I see fit.”

  “You need to handle your business right now. If you don’t, I will. I got your address, Rick. You don’t want me to come to your house with my bullshit because it won’t be pretty. I will see you later.” I snatched my arm away and headed back to my limo. The chauffeur jumped out, ran around to the back passenger side, and opened the door. As soon as I got in, Rick was getting in behind me. It was just me and him in the back and I was ready to cuss him out.

  “Rick, go handle your business or—”

  “Or what, Kyra?” He had grabbed me around my neck and pushed me back. “Or what?”