Justify My Thug Read online

  “C’mon, Boss man. I thought we was here to have a good time?”

  “Nigga, I told you that she was family and that she was only eye candy for tonight. You said you understood. But obviously you didn’t. Either that or you just didn’t give a fuck. So I’ll see you when I see you.”

  I couldn’t see the look on Tasha’s face and I couldn’t help but smile. It was saying, “Damn, Kaylin it was only an ass rub! You just fucked up my paper. That nigga had my purse a couple of Gs richer. I was planning on rapping his pockets and sending him home with a hard dick and a wet dream. Then to add injury to insult you going to sit me down like a child next to the nigga who has been giving me fever and this little white girl that apparently was planning on having him in her mouth before the night was over.”

  She shot us a few daggers as she plopped down in the seat next to me. But lady luck was in the muthafuckin’ house. Kay sent Lil’ E to sign some autographs and then when Slim and Baby of Cash Money came over he got up and they walked away.

  “What’s so funny?” Tasha asked me with a slight attitude. “And why is Kaylin trippin’? I’m grown.”

  I wasted no time moving closer to her, not caring about my brother or anyone else. “You wear my money well,” I said referring to her dress that was showing off her beautiful legs. I couldn’t help but think if I had my way, right now I would be bending her over one of these chairs and she would be yelling out my name.

  I sat there looking at Shorty. “Damn, you look good enough to eat,” I told her as I continued to take her all in.

  “You look good … enough,” she teased.

  I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me, “Let’s get out of here.”

  “And go where? I thought you are here to assist your brother. As a matter of fact, why aren’t you entertaining your little snow bunny?”

  “Because I would rather entertain you.”

  “Whatever. You don’t want to entertain me because you too scared of your little brother.”

  I chuckled, “Shorty, you be talking a lot of shit.”

  “And I can do that. Why? Because I can back up every word.”

  “Well, I got something for you to back up into.”

  Tasha looked at me and smiled. I could see her cheeks getting a little flush. I was getting ready to make my next move when Lil’ E emerged from signing autographs. “You ready Kyron? I have something I want to show you.”

  I looked up at lil’ Mama, then back at Shorty, and for the first time a brotha was stuck. I was grateful for Angel, who came rushing over to where we were.

  “Tasha, come here Kaylin wants you to be in these pictures. We gonna be on the cover of Black Enterprise.”

  As she pulled Tasha to her feet she looked back at me and said, “I hope you save some.” I looked at Angel to see if she had heard what Shorty had just said. Shorty had just raised the stakes to our dangerous game. Angel didn’t appear to have heard her because she yanked Tasha away from me.

  “Save some of what?” Lil’ E asked playfully.

  I stood up and took lil’ Mama by the hand, “Don’t even worry about it. Come show me that no hands thing.” Sheeit chasing Shorty had me all worked up. I was now good and ready to get a nut off my back.

  She looked at me with a big ass Kool-Aid smile and said, “Follow me. I found the perfect spot.”

  When I emerged from a small room in the back I could see the party was getting livelier by the minute. I looked down at lil’ Mama who was apparently disappointed that she couldn’t get me to slide up in that, but shit I can only give a bitch of her caliber what she asks for and nothing more. My philosophy is, when a bitch tells you she wants to suck your dick you let her, and then you make her pay for the rest. Plus, the only pussy I was trying to slide up into was Shorty’s.

  I scanned the room and saw that a small line of cats wanting to holla at my brother was beginning to form, then I found Tasha talking to Angel at the bar. I quickly dismissed lil’ Mama and headed over to where they were. Fate had to be on my side because just as I approached them, one of the staff members came over to Angel and needed her assistance giving me another opportunity to snatch up Shorty.

  I slid up behind her, positioning myself up against her soft ass and whispered in her ear, “I saved the best part for you.”

  She quickly turned around and we were face-to-face and I wasn’t backing down. “What are you doing?” She tried to look around me to see if anybody was watching us.

  “What? You scared of my little brother?” I said with a smirk on my face.

  “No … like I said, ‘I’m a grown ass woman.’ I can do whatever and whoever I want.” She answered me as she looked me up and down. “I was just making sure your little girlfriend didn’t catch you all up in my face. I don’t want to have to fuck her up.”

  “Aiight then, since you so grown, you can leave with me right now.”

  “And go where?”

  “Don’t worry about it.” On instinct my hand went to her nipple. And since lil’ Mama had just taken care of the foreplay, I was ready for the main course.

  “Nigga, we ain’t fuckin’, I already told you that.”

  “You said we can play. I’m ready to play.” She gently grabbed my hand to move it from her nipple. I held on to it and took it down to my dick. When she squeezed it I knew I had her.

  “You ain’t ready to play,” she told me as her fingers glided across the head. “I’m disappointed, you ain’t even hard.”

  “Look in the dictionary under play and my picture is right there. I just need you to fill in the definition on what you consider as play.”

  She smiled and squeezed my dick again. “I already told you my definition. A nigga who eats and swallows everything on the menu. That’s it, that’s all. No strings attached.”

  “And I already told you. I can handle that. The dick ain’t got to be hard to eat and swallow.”

  “It’s the principle, Kyron, you not being rock hard tells me that I ain’t doing my job.”

  “Trust me. You doin’ your job. A nigga just has a little more control than what you used to.”

  She smiled at me. “Let’s go then.”

  Me and Shorty headed for the nearest exit.

  KAYLIN

  I remember wondering why both of them niggas were ghost for the rest of the evening. Now I know.

  And even though Trae never said it, I know that in the back of his mind he thinks that I know. But what’s in the back of mine is my wife had to know about this shit. She and Tasha go back to Reeboks, shit they like Oprah and Gail. Ain’t no way in hell Angel didn’t know anything.

  When Trae came to my house and told me what was going on it was like a hand grenade being tossed in my lap. When he told me that Tasha was pregnant and didn’t know if the baby was his or Kyron’s … BOOM! … that grenade exploded in my face.

  Brother or no brother, hands down, Kyron was in violation. And I planned to tell him that as soon as I saw him. I wanted answers and Trae needed answers.

  So, he ended up talking me into flying to California with him to confirm everything that he had just told me. And when I walked into Trina’s apartment and Kyron came walking out of the bathroom, I knew right then that it was all true. I also knew that shit was about to go from bad to worse in zero to 60 seconds flat.

  Glancing over my shoulder, I saw that Trae was still standing in the doorway. The look on his face was one that I had seen many times. It was the look that signaled he was ready to kill.

  KYRON

  When I was Upstate on lock, I read a book by some D.C. cat called The Ultimate Sacrifice. In the book, the main character went home from prison and fucked his man’s woman. I remember thinking to myself that son was crazy foul for crossing the line like that. I also can remember an old timer telling me that sometimes art imitated life. I knew that, but it had nothing to do with me. I wasn’t imitating shit, as far as I was concerned I’m always gonna do me and be me. But then I became like the main character of that nove
l and I crossed those same lines. But fuck it, I’ma thug and thugs ain’t gotta justify themselves to no one.

  From the moment I saw Shorty at the airport, I knew I had to have her. I knew Tasha was Trae’s wife, Kay told me that the moment he saw the spark in my eye…

  “That’s Trae’s wife, nigga.”

  “Kaylin, all I said was shorty is fine.”

  “You heard what I said,” my brother warned me.

  And he was right. I did hear what he said, but after doing all those years Up Top, my urges wasn’t tryna hear that shit. At first, I was able to control myself around her, but once I talked myself up on that first kiss, it was on. I decided right then and there that I wanted Shorty and I wasn’t taking no for an answer. My inner voice said, “You foul for this.” But my outer voice said, “Fall back son, I got this.” Shorty said that she and Trae was getting a divorce, so she’s fair game.”

  Tasha is such a bad bitch, that in a few days she made me forget Mari doing the last of my bid with me. I knew that eventually I’d have to deal with Trae and my brother, and that almost changed my mind about the moves I was making. But I was so caught up in the moment that I went bare back and once I got that gushy, that shit went out the door. Her pussy was so warm and tight that I came so hard that day I swear I heard fireworks going off inside my head. It was some shit that ain’t never happen to a nigga before.

  When I heard that Tasha was supposed to be pregnant, there was no doubt in my mind that she was carrying my seed. I wanted to see her and talk with her. A nigga needed to find out where her head was at. So me and my cousin Kendrick shot out to Cali.

  I came prepared, pregnancy test in hand. Shorty was scared to take it but I made it known that she didn’t have any choice in the matter. When she went into the bathroom, I can’t front, those few minutes felt like hours. When she came out stone faced I knew what it was. So I went into the bathroom and confirmed what I already knew, that it was positive. I came out ready to celebrate, looked up and my brother Kay was walking into the apartment and Trae was standing in the doorway. I knew what they were there for, but I wasn’t trying to hear that shit. The positive test was me and Shorty’s moment. I wasn’t being denied that for nobody. To keep it 100, I knew I should have left when Tasha had asked me to leave. Hell, she begged me to leave. But Shorty and her pussy is like a drug. I had to get high. So now I was busted, but fuck it. Me being in Cali already told whoever was paying attention that I didn’t give a fuck. I had made up my mind and stuck to my guns, so the next move was Trae’s.

  TRAE

  So many years in the drug game and killing field had taught me to always trust my gut instincts. So when I heard that Kyron’s bitch ass was out of town, my instincts told me that he was on his way to the west coast to see my wife. And like always they were right.

  “Yo, Trae, you buggin’, son,” Kay said when I told him what my gut was telling me.

  “Bullshit,” I replied. When he saw that look I get when I’m ready to body something it took no further convincing and we were on the plane to Cali.

  Everybody, including my own mama, knows that Mama Santos is like a second mother to me. We family and when she heard what her bitch ass son did she began praying in Spanish for her son’s safety. I love her to death, and for her I am going to give this nigga a pass. If he was anybody else she would be picking out a tombstone and a suit. I’m lying to myself; she may still have to depending on how this pussy nigga acts.

  This punk came straight home and disrespected me. Him and everybody else know that I done killed niggas for lesser shit. That’s how I know he did the shit on purpose. I just have yet to figure out why. He knew that Tasha was my wife. Shit, all of New York knew it. The nigga still said fuck me. It’s obvious that he don’t really know how much weight I carry. My name alone put the fear of God in niggas. He knows better than anybody that I ain’t none of them fake ass gangstas he was locked up with. Again, so why? What did I do to this nigga?

  Tasha was too blinded by my betrayal and hers to see that the nigga was just using her. While I can’t forgive her, I’ll be damned if I just step aside and let the next man have what’s mine. I don’t care who he is. It’s the principle of the thing.

  From the doorway of Trina’s apartment, I saw Kyron coming out the bathroom holding a pregnancy test. My hand went immediately to the .45 Glock in the waist of my jeans.

  Knowing me like he did, Kaylin turned around and barked, “Remember whose brother he is. Plus, you told me that you’d let me talk to him first.” He slammed the door to the apartment in my face and locked it.

  I paced back and forth in the small hallway like an animal trapped in a cage. My temper was trying to get the best of me as I tried to decide who I was gonna body first and how I was gonna clean up the mess. Then all of a sudden I got mad at Tasha all over again. What the fuck was she thinking? Why does she always have to go to the extreme? Always trying to prove some shit to me. Look at the position she done put everybody in.

  Raised voices inside the apartment broke my reverie. Tasha was saying something to Kyron. I wanted to bust the door down and let everybody know how I was feeling, but then I remembered that I had too much to lose by getting loud and emotional. After all, I’ma bad boy and bad boys move in silence with violence.

  TWO

  JAZ

  I’m Jasmine Mujahid. I married the love of my life, Faheem. Faheem is considered the big daddy of the crew. You know, the level headed one, the one who keeps everyone on point. For example, when we lived in Jersey, everybody would call him for advice. Now don’t get me wrong, we had our share of drama. Everyone recalls and still talks about how I wouldn’t get with Faheem for the longest time. And I wouldn’t. Hell, no. Not as long as he was in the game. So he eventually gets out and then he later discovers that I, Miss ‘don’t want to fuck with a drug dealer’ Jaz, had my hands dirty cooking meth for the white boys. Man! You would have thought that I murdered the president! His family was mad and he was that much madder, more like … mad amplified by ten. I was called every hypocrite in the book. But to me I wasn’t in the game … well not like he was. I wasn’t flippin’ birds or nothing like that. I would cook, get paid and keep it moving. Them white boys loved me. But then it all came tumbling down. Faheem would have never found out if I hadn’t gotten busted in a meth lab, and he had to get me a lawyer, bail me out, make a witness disappear, the whole nine. All the shit you see in the movies. And to this day, I don’t know what was worst—getting busted by the Feds or by Faheem. Thanks to Faheem, except for a couple of days in a holding facility, my ass walked.

  To keep some of the heat off me, I had to remind him that he was no angel either. It wasn’t as if he just quit hustling in one day. Hell no. That nigga hustled and stacked and hustled and stacked until he was ready to get out. It just so happened that I waited for him. I did my best not to give him that impression, but hell yeah, I waited. I wanted to be with him.

  Anyways, that was then and we got through that and Faheem is still the love of my life. We’ve been happily married for almost five years and we have a seven year old daughter named Kaeerah Aaliyah. I was the first one in the crew to get pregnant. Then it was Kyra, Tasha and finally Angel. Me and Faheem relocated to Georgia where I enrolled at Spelman. School is kicking my ass as usual, but Faheem keeps pushing me, and seems more determined than me that I finish. I think he just likes me out of the house so he can milk the stay-at-home dad role. Yes, he takes the daddy role very seriously. He has Kaeerah on a rigid schedule. She goes to dance class, takes piano lessons and is on her school’s soccer team. He makes sure she stays involved in something all year round. I’m not surprised though, as bad as he wanted me to get pregnant, I knew that he would be a good father.

  But our shit took a turn for the worse on the Saturday morning that Faheem wanted to go to ghetto-ass South DeKalb Mall to check out his boy Jabree. Jabree just recently opened up a clothing store. He’s from Jersey and also relocated to the ATL. We were chillin’, strolling
through the mall, mostly window shopping. I was munching on an almond pretzel from Auntie Anne’s, and Kaeerah was begging her daddy to buy her everything she saw, when this little boy runs right pass us almost knocking Kaeerah over. I was getting ready to snatch his ass up but Faheem beat me to it.

  FAHEEM

  “Daddy, that little boy kicked me,” Kaeerah whined.

  “Lil’ man. You gotta slow down. You can’t be running and stepping on the ladies.” Lil’ man didn’t say anything. Why was he by himself? I wondered. I looked around to see if someone may have been looking for him but there was no one in sight. So I walked over to him and kneeled down in front of him. The more I looked at him the more he reminded me of someone.

  “I’m sorry,” he finally said as he looked at Kaeerah and apologized.

  “It’s cool. Are you lost?” I asked him.

  “Yes, I don’t see my mommy,” he responded with a low voice. I guess he knew that mama was going to beat that ass when she found him.

  Then I heard a woman yelling out, “Faheem. Oh my God where is he? Faheem.” I rose to my feet, turned around, and was face to face with Oni … my ex. And from the look on her face you would have thought that she saw a ghost. She reached out and grabbed lil’ man’s hand and put him behind her which said it all.

  “So you named your son after me?” I asked with a smug grin.

  She returned the same grin and then said with sarcasm dripping from her voice. “No I named your son Faheem.” She then turned to walk away. I reached out and grabbed her by her shoulder, stopping her dead in her tracks.

  “Come again. Did you say my son?” I was confused and was sure that this bitch was fuckin’ with me.

  Oni turned around and said, “Yes, Faheem. If you weren’t being such a fucked up, self-centered person maybe you would have tried to find out.” This bitch had the audacity to knock my hand off her shoulder.